UPWARDS and OUTWARDS

Praises stream in...

2008-07-23T10:27:00.001-07:00

We will love[ we can make a difference] - Stream of Praise

You just got to pause and let the streams of praise envelop you once in a while.
Apologies... I just don't know how to get the player to centralize and look neat. Anyone knows?

Go Forth

2008-07-18T09:51:00.001-07:00

These two days, i had the wonderful privilege of soaking in all about missions from Go Forth. Thank God for those wonderful sessions and workshops. I think beyond the content of the sharings, the speakers' lives radiates the life of Christ and pour forth immense and rich sharings of partnering with God in missions. A few things for now:
1. People really need to know the gospel. There's no hope except in the gospel. The gospel truly saves.
2. Incarnational discipleship. Nurturing and spending time with people are a must. Jesus himself set the model by being God Incarnate.
3. Youths need to know God. There's so much potential in youths.
4. I must read my Bible and read and read and read and read some more.

Life without Jesus is like a donut.

2008-04-15T08:12:00.001-07:00

In moments like this, i am so thankful to know God in my youth. I can't quite imagine growing up in this big bad world without the loving Hands of our Lord Jesus to lead and to guide. You see, now that i know God, i don't have to go round searching for another companion to fill up this void. I may FEEL lonely but I am NOT lonely. God's presence is ever near. When i truly experience the love and the warmth of God's embrace, why would i want to search it out in another person that can never truly love me the way God does? Conclusion of the matter: Listen to God who to be your partner.

Because i know God, i don't have to go round trying to prove myself in the world. I may THINK i am worthless, but i am of SO much worth that He gave His life for me. In fact, I am of so much worth that Jesus would give His all just to have me. Thank you Jesus. Life without you is like a donut - there's a hole somewhere.

Far from Home

2008-04-07T09:28:00.000-07:00

It is hard to yearn for heaven especially in a land bombarded with present realities that spell no future: internet, playstation, tv and the like. With pleasures that are so fast to attain, how can one ever yearn for the real and true home? Indeed we are far from home, and we need to remember that we are far from home.

Joseph Stowell's Far From Home paints a wonderful and real picture of what it means to be far from home and yet yearning for intimacy with God. In short, the book helped me remember this: There is no short cut when it comes to intimacy with the Lord. Its boils down to the daily communion with Him.

Five truths about intimacy with God (from Stowell's book)
1. Our primary purpose in life is to embrace the transcendent God by faith and to worship Him in purity and service.
2. God intervenes in dramatic ways only periodically and selectively for major purposes in His kingdom and the blessings of His people.
3. God has already done more for me than i deserve.
4. God is probably doing a lot of things that we do not even know about.
5. When God thinks of intimacy, He thinks of a heart relationship with us.

Footprints in the Sand

2008-03-30T12:24:00.000-07:00

Popped by HMV and saw Leona Lewis album. Impressed by her vocals and decided to press play. Ah.. footprints in the sand... tt sounds like such a nice title. Track ___. Expected it to be another sappy love song. Wow ...turned out that the lyrics were pretty good too. And then it dawned on me... hey! isn't what she's singing that which i experience from the Lord? How come this sounds so familiar? Then i remembered, this is like the poem Footprints in the Sand. The one where the person noticed after walking a distance on the sand that there was only a set of footprints in the sand and it turned out that it was God carrying him all along. Thank God for such love and care for His people. I think Leona's song probably was sung as a love song, but its lyrics are so apt to God cos there's no one on earth that can compare to Him in the way the song describes.

You walked with me
Footprints in the sand
And helped me understand
Where I’m going
You walked with me
When I was all alone
With so much I no along the way
Then I heard you say
I promise you
I’m always there
When your heart is filled with sorrow and despair
I’ll carry you
When you need a friend
You’ll find my footprints in the sand
I see my life
Flash across the sky
So many times have I
Been so afraid ooh
And just when I
Have thought I’ve lost my way
You give me strength to carry on
That’s when I heard you say
I promise you
I’m always there
When your heart is filled with sorrow and despair
I’ll carry you When you need a friend
You’ll find my footprints in the sand
When I’m weary
Well I no you’ll be there
And I can feel youWhen you say
I promise you I’m always there
When your heart is full of sadness and despair
I’ll carry you When you need a friend
You’ll find my footprints in the sand x 2

Resurrection

2008-02-28T07:47:00.000-08:00

Hi guys, it's been a while. I think i really should spend a little more time dusting off this blog and sprucing it up a little for mutual edification. 'll be back with mooe updates and basically just needing to sound my two cents worth in this wide world.

Bible Trails

2007-12-16T08:02:00.000-08:00

Nothing beats sheer hard work at reading the Bible. Have been having exciting times studying God's word. A sample of what was covered in just two weeks
1. Foundation class Proverbs - Pride and Humility
2. Bible trail - Jeremiah, Isaiah
3. EYF - Luke 10, Eph 5 and many more
4. Others - Alice Matthews bible conference recordings

So much of the word of God given. Need God to help me to understand the Word inspired by Himself. Context is everything. Realised that understanding the context of the times really helped to apply God's truth in a deeper and authentic manner. Wow. the word of God is an endless discovery...

2007-10-31T10:20:00.000-07:00

Joy in the Journey (by Michael Card)
------------------
There is a joy in the journey,
there's a light we can love on the way.
There is a wonder and wildness to life,
and freedom for those who obey.
All those who seek it shall find it,
a pardon for all who believe.
Hope for the hopeless and sight for the blind
To all who've been born of the Spirit
and who share incarnation with him;
who belong to eternity, stranded in time,
and weary of struggling with sin.
Forget not the hope
that's before you,
and never stop counting the cost.
Remember the hopelessness when you were lost?

Many people find their Christian walk dry, dull, lifeless and very dead. But remember the hopelessness when you were lost? When you remember that hopelessness, that hollow empty feeling of searching but never finding, of hoping but never receiving, it would be silly and very foolish to return back to those days of hopelessness right?

There is a wonder and wildness to life and freedom for those who obey. This is really a paradox isn't it, but the only way to freedom is like what this says: only when you obey. In obedience to God will one be awestruck and wild and free to run the race. Keep at this journey and do not stray away.

FAQs

2007-10-28T08:44:00.000-07:00

Dear friends, here are answers to a few FAQs for all you need to know about Xiuying in the past few months after graduation.

So what have you been up to?
Oh, i've started working full time in my church since July. In the meantime, i'm applying to Duke programme. Hopefully this falls through. God knows best where i will go next.

What do you do working in church?
Oh, i do everything from washing toilets to mending lights. Just kidding. But in short, basically whatever i've been doing while i was still schooling, that's that, plus a few more other portions that has got to do with impacting lives.

How do you find it?
Learning something new everyday. Exciting and challenging and very humbling.

Are you paid?
Enough to cover my basic allowances. Never in lack.

why youth?

2007-10-18T07:03:00.000-07:00

A sister asked me today why do i want to see 10 youths come in to fellowship? I told her i want to see the expansion of youth fellowship. She asked me why do i want to see the expansion of youth fellowship? I told her youths are meant to live for the Lord. And as she elaborated... yes... only a life lived for the Lord is a life not wasted and a life well spent. I want to see youths coming to know God because only that kind of life is best lived.

I remember i prayed to God a long time ago on that fateful night at the traffic junction opposite my house as i walked home from the event "Murdered by Numbers". I prayed and asked God to use me for the expansion of God's kingdom. And now, i really see the meaning of "be careful of what you asked for". God really answered my prayer and opened one opportunity after another to serve Him! He had answered really answered my prayer. Lord, continue to use me for as long as you deem me fit to serve you in this way.

3 months in a whirlwind

2007-10-07T10:03:00.000-07:00

For the beauty of the earth,
For the beauty of the skies,
For the love which from our birth
Over and around us lies,

Lord of all, to thee we raise
This our grateful hymn of praise.

For the beauty of each hour
Of the day and of the night,
Hill and vale, and tree and flower,
Sun and moon and stars of light,

Lord of all, to thee we raise
This our grateful hymn of praise.

For the joy of human love,
Brother, sister, parent, child,
Friends on earth, and friends above,
Pleasures pure and undefiled,

Lord of all, to thee we raise
This our grateful hymn of praise.

For each perfect gift of thine,
To our race so freely given,
Graces human and divine,
Flowers of earth and buds of heaven,

Lord of all, to thee we raise
This our grateful hymn of praise.

For thy Church which evermore
Lifteth holy hands above,
Offering up on every shore
Her pure sacrifice of love,

Lord of all, to thee we raise
This our grateful hymn of praise.

I think this is wonderful piece of music that celebrates and remembers that God is behind all beauty and all the wonderful earthly things that we enjoy. Someone once said "A thing of beauty lasts forever." I think a thing of beauty only has eternal value when God inspires it.

For all the Lord has done

2007-10-07T10:02:00.001-07:00

3 months since my last entry. Will overcome the inertia with these two wonderful songs that I have heard in the past two weeks. First one from streams of praise and the one that auto starts? That's my fav now.

Graduation

2007-07-28T10:54:00.001-07:00

Finally Graduation photos are up. This is as far as i can get - Hee hee 4th July. Commencement turned out to be more fun than i expected. The most boring part was definitely in the main hall while waiting for everyone to finish their turn. I'm now soooo glad to have graduated.

It is good to give thanks unto Thee o my God,

to sing praises to Thy name Oh most High.

God has brought me through these 4 long and tedious years. And to top this off, a trivial affair to let loose and just snap away. Haha, not too bad. Kudos to my photographers... They make me look far better than I actually look. Otherwise you would have seen me looking like a short and stout blue mushroom. All credit goes to Shiyun, Jillian and Xiuping. You sisters have been such a fantastic bunch. I just had to go around and they followed everywhere to help me snap. Oh that's what sisters are for!!! Haha...Thank God so much for them=)

Graduation Day!

So glad my parents came!

Thank God for friends. If not for them, i would not have survived that long.

I was here!

Last and certainly not least, my lovely photographers!

Lab mishaps

2007-06-28T20:56:00.000-07:00

It's been almost two full years since i started work in Dr Chew's lab. Today is my "unofficial" official last day. Would have been so on wednesday if not for a set of controls i forgot to include. (what's new?) Even like after so long, i'm still rebuked by L for some things i ought to have done properly.
"Xiuying, next time please remember to close the -80 door latch properly."
"Oh, you mean the door inside is it? ok.. ok.." (smiles cheezily and resumes filling some container with distilled water like oh-it's-really-so-difficult-i-need-to-focus)

Ai yo, after so long, just when i thought "yes i've grown!", someone pours cold water and reminds me about these nitty gritty details. Talk about having humility!

Which brings me down memory lane to recall some of those instances that has forever condemned me to be a klutz at work, plus guaranteed chop!
1. plasmid extraction, pouring two different plasmids into the same eppendorf. Oops! There goes one week of effort.
2. leaving the extracted plasmid on benchtop overnight and worrying through the night "Oh no, is my DNA just going to disintergrate?"
3a. using PVDF membranes without activating in methanol over two/three separate occasions till JN comes along and asks me "you mean you don't dip into methanol before using?". Oh great! i spent two weeks trying to figure why proteins just won't transfer.
3b. Forgetting to mark on the membrane and when X-rayed - Oops, which protein is which band?
4. leaving bacteria to grow over one entire week in incubator till JS comes and asks if i still want it. Heh heh, actually need to throw...
5. letting the cleaned up DNA dry at laminar hood overnight but still send for sequencing anyway. Phew, it still works, thank God.
6. Seeing the protein sample float up when loading into gel. Argh!!! there goes my sample. Actually, it's the buffer's fault. Too concentrated.
7. Always scolded for scanning pictures.
8. using open 96-well plates for sterile work. Boy! How stupid can i get?
9. Expecting the LB agar to liquefy entirely after 10 min in microwave oven and upon opening the door... Argh!!!! the agar burnt! U have to monitor the liquid every 2-3 min!
10. Spending half a year just to get the best protocol to express proteins

Hallelujah Praise the lord! Thank God i'm still alive.

Gratitude - it's all about attitude.

2007-06-27T21:22:00.000-07:00

Though solemn in all its tone, i find it highly amusing how the person treated the incident of being robbed. To think that he can have four reasons to thank God in such an "unlucky incident"

"ii. We can always find reason for gratitude before God. Matthew Henry, the famous Bible commentator, was robbed of his wallet once. He wrote in his diary that night all the things he was thankful about:
First, that he had never been robbed before.
Second, that though they took his wallet, they did not take his life.
Third, because even though they took it all, it wasn’t very much.
Finally, because he was the one who was robbed and not the one who was robbing"

From blueletterbible.org

Now my own set when i had lost my handphone:
First, that losing my handphone has happened before and God was training me to be more careful and detailed-minded
Second, that though the handphone was stolen, it reminded me not to be too dependent on a tech gadget.
Third, because all the contacts were lost, the process of getting the contacts back was a good test of patience.
Finally, because i was stolen from and not the one stealing.

Wahaha, that makes down-in-dumps day so fruitful.

Of foundations, evening skies and sandcastles

2007-06-16T09:57:00.000-07:00

Here's some quick photos of the pleasures from the every today. It's so good to be able to enjoy good things in life like these!

Foundation! Feasting on the word of God and food also!

It's a pretty blur photo and guess what occasion is this? A typical Thursday evening - which means it's foundation class. Haha, this is purposely to inform others in the foundation who weren't around. We had great food, wonderful company and handphone camera clicks. Where can you find a foundation time like this? Answer: When Theresa is up north, Siang Jun has caught the flu bug, Kenneth and Reggie have teen games and Jon and Binhua in NS. I'm so sorry you can't come. Bwahaha... This cafe is fabulous. Good ambience tucked away in a Joo Chiat corner. A time like may never come again in a long time to come.

Friday evening sky at 7 pm along Geylang East Central. Singapore skies are not altogether hopeless. Good for mini 10 min solitudes.

Sandcastles during Sat Youth Fellowship. Hadn't been out for YF for a long time. God had held back the rain after the refreshing heavy downpour. It was the perfect sand condition for building sandcastles. Wet and compact but not too soggy. A hot weather would have made it harder to build nice sandcastles. God knows best.

QCP busy at work

Almost beautiful!

Building sandcastles are not only fun, but a sobering lesson for me to remember that the things in this world will be washed away by the torrents and tides like these sandcastles. No matter how magnificent they appear, how much effort being put in, they do not last forever. It is no use building "sandcastles" in real life. Build for what will last.

Good news! Angels in heaven are rejoicing! Today Kat prayed to receive Christ. May Kat start also on this journey to build her life on what will last. Welcome to the family!

Morning Star

2007-06-05T07:50:00.000-07:00

i recently discovered this composer Graham Kendrick, who wrote many of the songs we now sing during worship. Check this out:

For maximum effect, you must visualise as you read the poetry behind the song. The lines are simply beautiful. Take time to read through the whole poem if you can. Really the words are so rich!

High above the dark horizon
We have seen the Morning Star
Promise of a cloudless morning
Lights up our hearts
Bright eternal dawn is breaking
Chasing shadows of the night
Open faces upward gazing
We await the day of Christ

Take the news to earth's far corners
Soon the promised King will come
Time's decay and death's dominion
Will soon be gone
There will be a new creation
In the twinkling of an eye
Hear his voice of invitation
Calling 'Don't be left behind'

Coming soon on clouds descending
East to West the skies will blaze
Earth made bright with angel splendour
All the world amazed
Every eye shall see his glory
King of kings and Lord of lords
Saints from every age will greet him
Caught up with him in the clouds

So until that perfect morning
We will run to win the race
Till we're changed into his likeness
See him face to face
Now unto the One who loves us
And redeemed us by his blood
Be all honour, power and glory
So shall his Kingdom come
Now unto the One who loves us
And redeemed us by his blood
Be all honour, power and glory
So shall his Kingdom come
So shall his Kingdom come
We have seen the Morning Star x4

The logic of logistics and the illogic behind the cross

2007-06-05T07:46:00.000-07:00

The gospel simply doesn't make sense to a world who never knew its Creator.

Thank you for Christocamp, because it was rejuvenating to return back to the fundamental truths about God and the gospel that is absolute truth.
1. My life is created by God. It is meant to please God. This is an aboslute truth
2. The cross shows the extent of God's wrath towards sin and the extent of His love for me. God gave himself for me. God really really hates sin. Therefore i must be disgusted by sin and do not want to sin. The extent of His love was that he gave of himself to me. NO one will ever do that for me. God really really loves me. Thank you, you really really really love me.

Thank you for logistics during Christocamp and giving end session. I have learnt many things from very meticulous sisters about logistics maintenance and the art of it all. When something goes beyond your comfort zone, you grow. So here are a few things i learn about logistics.

1. draw a list and organise it well so that you know what is checked in and out
2. scout for the best quality you can get for recording purposes. Clear recording is best for others to listen to.
3. NEVER NEVER assume that everything is in working condition. Always check electronic and PC equipment.
4. Always updated logistics list when any other objects are added last min.
5. Keep an updated list for use by future log team so they will not repeat mistakes committed this time round.
6. Taking care of the equipment is part of paying a debt of love to believers, so that they can be kept in good working condition for the next user to maximise the usage of it.

Death notes - the brevity of life

2007-05-16T09:13:00.000-07:00

If you would just flip the Straits Times main section today overleaf, it wouldn't take a few seconds to realise that reports of deaths came in one after another.
"Woman crushed during walk in park"
"Trainee teacher dies on Mt Ophir"
"Full military funeral for soldier"

What more do these reports attest to except that life is really unpredictable. All of the people who died above have passed on in their prime. The woman was a housewife with coming-of-age sons, the trainee teacher was only 27 and looking forward to a career in teaching and Private Fan Yao Jin is the same age as me! What more can i say except that life is so unpredictable. Despite the last person in question given the honour of a full military funeral, he cannot come back to life anymore. These people have had the breath of life but now lie lifeless, devoid of any signs of life.

I am pretty sure the housewife had hopes of watching her sons grow up to become good men, the trainee teacher curling to get past the gruelling syllabus to finally be qualified to teach and private Fan striving to rise through the ranks. But death has no respect for men. It captures old and young alike - catching all even those caught unawares.

In the midst of such doom and gloom, it was rather comforting to read of a different slant to death in the weekly health companion to Straits Times "Mind Your Body". Mr Tye Kim Khiat, who wrote a book Second Dawn in memory of his late son reminds of a verse from the Bible "Death, where is thy sting?" His son, Kevin, had died from cancer before hitting 30. But the triumph over the physical death was clearly seen in the optimism of Kevin who had said he was not afraid and knew where he was going. Mr Tye describes Kevin as being one who always had Heaven on his lips, which fitted perfectly with the lyrics of this song we sing during worship time

O, heaven is in my heartO, heaven is in my heart
The kingdom of our God is here
Heaven is in my heart
The presence of his majesty
Heaven is in my heart
And in his presence joy abounds
Heaven is in my heart
The light of holiness surrounds
Heaven is in my heart
O, heaven is in my heart O, heaven is in my heart
His precious life on me he spent
Heaven is in my heart
To give me life without an end
Heaven is in my heart
In Christ is all my confidence
Heaven is in my heart
The hope of my inheritance
Heaven is in my heart
O, heaven is in my heart O, heaven is in my heart
We are a temple for his throne
Heaven is in my heart
And Christ is the foundation stone
Heaven is in my heart
will return to take us home
Heaven is in my heart
The Spirit and the Bride say 'Come!'
Heaven is in my heart
O, heaven is in my heart O, heaven is in my heart

It's a different take on death altogether when one is in the hands of the Almighty God. Such triumph and inexplicable joy despite the circumstances. I think of my parents and some youth contacts a lot lately whenever i read these stories. May God grant them the grace to know Him and triumph over death.

Of pleasures and hate-love affairs

2007-05-12T08:39:00.000-07:00

Graduation is a good thing for now. I cannot believe that play is actually back on the cards now. Those little pleasures in life that can finally be savoured after a year-long hiatus. To be able to do these things after so long makes the whole experience all the more sweeter...
1. being able to watch Spiderman 3.
2. watching the world go by on an SBS bus
3. being able to go drink tea after foundation class. Like how cool is that? "Hey you wanna go grab a drink?" The ability to say "okay" and catch up spontaneously with others in the class is exhilarating! Thank God very much for the time to rest.

After many long sessions of pulling myself to the basketball court, i have finally experience a breakthrough in loving basketball! One must understand that after bad experiences with basketballers, sprained ankles and twisted pinkie fingers early in life, the hate for the orange ball can be really great. I was looking ahead to my schedule the following week and realised that a talk i had signed up for clash with a basketball session other pals have arranged. For once, for once in my life i actually feel angsty at having to forfeit the bball session. Which means.. which means.. yes! it's true... I don't hate basketball anymore! Next, one must also think i am insane. But this is personally a very great breakthrough. I've never felt joy in playing ball. Sorry. correction. i've never felt joy at TRYING to play ball. Ever since the time i touched basketball again, probably 19 years old then, it was always simply an obligation. I just have to play ball so that i can join others. I think i'm not really responsible for the change. God has answered my prayer and given me joy in this.

That's not to say i am good at bball. For one, i cannot really dribble, and my shooting looks more like shooting stars. But it's alright, God still gives me joy. Wonderful. A pleasure enjoyed with God is really good. =)

My New Web Home =)

2007-05-05T09:14:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my new web home! After about 4 years of using HoneyInTheRock, I've decided to move to mark the end of a wonderful 4 years of university and the start of a new phase in life. Looking ahead to many wishes and plans, but still submitting it all to my God. Exciting. Exhilarating. Fearful. Anticipating. The heart is currently restless to find its place in the world.

Hence I've decided to name this blog UpwardsandOutwards, for a number of reasons. Firstly, that upwards and outwards reminds me of the cross where Jesus died for me - put the horizontal and vertical together. Upwards and outwards is also my personal prayer that my next phase will be a continual fixing of my eyes on my Lord (upwards) while reaching out to people around me (outwards). I think i've been quite a recluse to begin with and it's a struggle to interact with people. Left alone, i would prefer to be on my own. But this world is made up of people and LIVES matter to Him. Man was made not to be alone but for fulfilling relationships with God and with one another. I pray that I will continue to grow in wisdom and in favour with both God and man. This new web home will mostly likely contain glimpses of struggles and joys in walking with God. For both my christian and non-christian friends, I hope the reading of this blog will be a refreshing of the soul for you. Okay i will try not to bore you with my personal photos. Too much of it is an overkill. Sometimes, i'll be putting songs, articles watever might impact you or help me remember God's goodness along the way. Life is good.